Pip's cigarettes
by Jigoku Pie
Summary: Pip Bernadotte smokes a lot, and he isn't too pleased when a small blond vampire take away his small little comfort. (rated T only because it mentions cigarettes - - )


I'm starting to really love Seras and Pip, (although Seras x Alcuard will always have a special place in my heart!) and I noticed Pip smokes...like...a LOT throughout the series...like a LOT! Even in battle! Here's what I think would happen if you try and take away Pip's ciggy ;) enjoy!

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"Captain!" At first when Seras would shout his name Pip would jump, looking around quickly as if he'd done something wrong- being un-use to a female voice in the group. Now whenever Seras shouted his name he merely took another drag on his cigarette and would push his hat further over his eyes so as to annoy her further. He didn't see her storming over to him, but he knew she was. They'd just finished a mission and as per usual Pip had ordered the clean-up and was now leaning casually against the back wall of the building they're just cleared out.

"Captain." She repeated.

No answer. A kick. "OW!"

"Oh good you're not dead, captain we're ready to leave."

He glared at her from under his hat, rubbing his shin. "Just a moment longer mon cher." He took another drag on his cigarette and looked out over a field. Pip liked countryside well enough, he had to get used to it as the majority of vampires choose remote places to hunt as appose to full on city's. This particular vampire had chosen a lovely little building surrounded by mass expanses of open land.

"Captain." She growled for the third time. "The men are waiting."

He rolled his eyes. "Zey know I hang around after blondy, no worries."

She looked out to the field uneasily. "Yeah that's because they're ok with day, it's five in the morning I need to get back!"  
He smirked lowering his hat and blowing smoke through his nostrils. "So when you said zey are waiting, you meant you?"

She gave a tiny stomp of her foot and he grinned, side glancing at her. She looked adorable when she got annoyed. "Captain please, I'm exhausted running after that bloody vampire, can we just…oh for god's sake put that cigarette out!"

Without warning it was whipped from his mouth, thrown on the floor and crushed under Seras's heel.

"There, you're moment is up now let's go!"

.

He stared down at the shattered remains of his cigarette. Pip Bernadotte rarely got angry, he was a fairly laid back guy all-in-all, however when she did _that_...

She felt a hand on her shoulder as she made to walk away, rolling her eyes she turned. "Look you can get anoth….captain?" His hat was dipped low, but that didn't hide the sneer on his lips. "Captain?"

She gave a small yelp as she felt strong hands turn her, shoving her back into the wall when he placed both hands either side of her head.

"Victoria, are you aware I am your 'effing _captain_!".

She shrunk in on herself. "Yeah but-"

"-And are you aware it is I who gives orders around here, _not _you?"

"I only mean that-"

"-What, what did you mean?" He practically snarled. "You were too tired to wait, even when the rest of us have _also_ been busting our arses trying to kill zat son of a bitch in zer?"

She glared at him. "And yet it's only _you_ who feels the need to light up a dam cigarette after _every_ mission, no one else does it. Only you!...Are _you_ aware this whole pinning me to the wall thing doesn't work?"

She began to press him back a little with her vampire strength only for him to push back harder and closer. "You will stay there because you respect me as your 'effing captain. Need I say zis again?"

His figure loomed over her, his arms and body barring her in and shutting of any light from the moon or stars. She still saw him as clear as day though, his plat hung down to the side, his hat dipped low casting further shadows across his viridian eye which bore into her hard enough to make up for the other one.

She swallowed. "Yes captain." Her voice was small and she turned her gaze down and waited for further orders.

…"Seras." She felt his head directly next to hers now, so close she could feel his breath on her skin.

"Captain?"

"Take me out another cigarette." Her head shot up, at first in anger until she halted, her cheeks blazing extraordinarily red for a dead girl. His breath was hot against her lips, their noses practically touching.

"Take me out, a cigarette." He stated calmly. "Zey are in my belt to my right. He didn't step back or allow her any room to do this so, thus she had to…feel her way. She blushed further at the thought and slowly reached out her hand, directing it completely to the right so as not to accidentally come in contact with other ...features. He grinned as she fumbled around, first his jacket, lower, his belt, running along it-no that was his gun holster, and next to it? She staring at him and flicked open the lid as she pulled out a cigarette. It was slim and felt alien in her hands, when she was younger her farther had told her on more than one occasion how smoking poisoned your lungs. He had never strictly told Seras not to smoke, only that he would be slightly disappointed if she ever took it up before she was eighteen. She held it up for him to see but he still didn't look away.

"Good, now, put it in my mouth."

She blinked and he raised an eyebrow, challenging her. She did so, staring intently at his mouth as she placed it between his lips. He waited a few moments, brushing the tip against his lips before taking it between his teeth.

"Now." He wriggled it to the side so he could talk easily. "Light me, top pocket."

She swallowed again, where was a drink of blood when you needed it? Instead she gently licked her dry lips, regretting it as he smirked further. Instead she concentrated on the lighter, lifting her hand again she inspected his top left pocket, there was nothing there and all she felt was the firmness of his chest, his muscles beneath gently flexing as he took strong calm breaths, his heart beating beneath her fingertips.

"Other pocket blondy."

She scowled, quickly taking it out of the right pocket and holding it in front of him. He did lean back for this, allowing her to flick a flame into existence without burning either of them. She held it to his cigarette for a few seconds, waiting until tiny red embers began to glow, almost as if the tiny little demons where laughing at her predicament.

He took it in one hand, still watching her, he took a drag. She squeezed her eyes tight shut, ready for him to blow a cloud of smoke into her face. It didn't come and instead she slowly opened her eyes to see him blowing it in the opposite direction then turning to grin at her. She gasped as a hand rested gently on her head, ruffling her hair.

"Good Seras."

.

She stared down at the ground again. "Do you need another moment captain?" He turned to glance at the horizon, a faint orange glow spreading across the skyline.

"I can open a window on ze drive back." He looked at her, smiling genuinely this time. She gave a small smile back, relived he was back to normal. He motioned for her to followed and she quickly walked next to him.

The drive back was two hours long and Seras sighed, dreading the back of the trucks with their hard metal seating which lined the edge, the lack of windows and of course the gaggle of Wild Geese. They weren't so bad and she was in fact fairly fond of them now, however on long journeys they still became restless and bored, meaning they teased _her_.

Before she could step up into the back of the truck though Pip called to her.

"Ey Seras!" She looked up to see him standing next to his lieutenant George.

"Swap wiz George! You sit at ze front!" She blinked and nervously eyed George who merely grinned back, tipping his hat to her before walking over and climbing in. There was a chorus of groans from inside the truck.

"Hu! Why d'you get Seras!"

"Come on Ser! Join us back 'ere!"

"But George has no tits!"

She laughed waving them goodbye as the truck doors were closed. "Good luck lieutenant!" She called.

He winked at her then fully shut the doors. "Alright boys, who's up for another chorus of the wheels on the truck!" There were collective groans from inside and Seras grinned, running to the front to join Pip.

The front of the truck had one long padded seat instead of the normal two and she grinned. Pip started the engine, in the back of the truck it created a loud "WIRRR" sound, but from here it was just a gentle hum.

As they pulled away from the deserted building Seras yawned, the sky a warm pink now, birds beginning to call to one another. She head a sound and looked across to see Pip patting his leg.

"Rest if you want." He smiled, one hand on the wheel. At first she wanted to decline his offer, but if she rested her head on his lap she could stretch out more along the chairs instead of being cramped up. Undoing the top buttons to her neck clasp and sweeping her hair to one side she gently placed her head across his leg, stretching out her tired legs along the padded seat. She smiled to herself as his hand came to rest on her head, gently stroking her blond hair. He smelt of gunpowder, that forever "Pip smell" and…smoke.

"Thankyou." She muttered, turning over so she was facing his shirt and not the underside of the wheel, she nuzzled in closer and he grinned.

"You're welcome Seras…just never take my cigarette away again ok?"

She gave a small laugh. "Yes captain."

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Hope you guys liked it =) I've tried my best with spelling and what not but sorry if I've left anything out! Plz review!


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